Cousin marriage is a-okay.

I guess we can file this one under “things I didn’t expect to learn on Christmas Eve.”

As it turns out, marrying your first cousin has been declared just peachy. Yup, Science said so. Apparently, reports of birth defects have been greatly exaggerated. In reality, the odds of them coming about are no greater than they are when a middle-aged woman decides to have a baby.

According to the National Society of Genetic Counselors, birth defects are 2 to 3 percent more common in children born to first cousins than among the general population — a real risk, but not enough to justify the bans.

Surprisingly enough, first-cousin marriage is currently only banned in 31 states, though if Science has any say in the matter, it’ll soon be zero. “It’s discrimination!” it says. I grew up assuming it was expressly forbidden to want to do your cousin (in the butt) in all states and everywhere. It inherently sounds like incest, and we’re all told that incest just isn’t cool.

But I have been mistaken! Not only were cousin relations used to keep royalty in the family in Europe, but my own state says marriage, sex, and conception with any hot cousins you might have is perfectly alright. And that, of course, is the real issue at hand — doesn’t everyone have a hot cousin?

In the midst of financial crises and an all-out global meltdown, it’s good to know Science still has its priorities straight.